Recently, I was diagnosed with a.a.a.d.d.-
Recently, I was diagnosed with a.a.a.d.d. -
age activated attention deficit disorder.
This is how it manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I head towards the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I picked up from the mail man earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the recycling box under the table, and notice that the recycling box is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the recycling first.
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the recycling paper anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and notice that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the cup of coffee I’d been drinking.
I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coffee aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
The coffee is getting cold, and I decide to make another cup.
As I head toward the kitchen with the cold coffee, a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye - the flowers need water.
I put the coffee on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I put the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the tv remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realise that tonight when we go to watch tv, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I put the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn’t washed,
the bills aren’t paid,
there is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the counter,
the flowers don’t have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail….
Please do me a favor… forward this message to everyone you know, because I don’t remember who I’ve sent it to.
Don’t laugh - if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!!
What to do when your “socket packet pocket” has an error to report…
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn’t hash, then your situation’s hopeless and your system’s gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall…
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, ‘cuz sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang.
When the copy on your floppy’s getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions are causing unnecessary risk, then you’ll have to flash the memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!
Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?